Shazia Mirza is a stand-up comedian and writer who was one of six Muslim female stand-ups who did a six-city Comedy Queens UK tour this year, playing to a Halal women-only audience – a show they plan to take back on the road later this year.
With many TV and radio appearances, her TV work includes BBC shows QI, Would I Lie To You?, Top Gear, Celebrity MasterChef and Have I Got News for You; Channel 4 shows Celebrity Island with Bear Grylls and Travel Man; Loose Women (ITV) and The Wright Stuff (Channel 5).
Shazia lives with her husband Khalid in Belsize Park, north London.
What attracted you to your home?
I wanted to live in Hampstead but couldn’t afford it.
Belsize Park is next to Hampstead and, I think, a bit better. By the heath and Hampstead High Street is always really busy, and difficult to find parking.
But Belsize Park is down towards Camden and less busy – it’s still as green and I can walk up to Hampstead.
What does a home mean to you?
It should be liveable.
You should find it comforting and relaxing. Sometimes you see really nice houses but they look and feel like a showroom.
My flat was a blank canvas but I thought it could be cosy. It’s in a nice block of flats, there’s always somebody in the front looking after it – it’s got cameras, a nice front porch.
I’ve been here for 10 months. Of a few other properties I had I’ve kept one – a house in Muswell Hill – but wanted to buy somewhere more central.
Do you have a favourite room?
The bedroom.
It’s very tranquil and looks out onto Primrose Hill.
I’m in the city but it feels like I’m in the countryside. If you’re in the right area you can get that. I see trees and people walking up to the hill. I saw a lot of properties before I bought this one.
How does it compare to your childhood home?
It’s so different.
I was brought up in Birmingham in a three-bedroom terraced house in Harborne just outside the city centre, which now is very nice. When I was growing up it wasn’t as affluent.
There were seven of us in the house: three brothers, me, my sister, my mum and dad.
Life was difficult because my parents were immigrants from Pakistan and arrived in the 1960s. There were a lot of immigrants and they lived in small houses, but they were still making their way in business and building their lives here.
My dad was starting out in business. We didn’t have much money and it was a really run-down property.
In the living room, the carpet had worn away and you could see the floorboards. We played in the small garden but it had no grass, just mud.
Sometimes we’d play on the street, ride the bike up and down, or in Queen’s Park round the corner, where everybody used to play.
What was the first property you bought?
A two-bedroom maisonette with a garden in Walthamstow, London in 2000 for £79,000, when I was teaching.
But there was a lease problem, it was too short.
You had to get the lease extended if you wanted to sell it – which cost me £10,000 – and when I came to sell it, my solicitor found that the previous owner had extended the lease but their solicitor (who turned out to be dodgy and was later investigated by the Law Society) hadn’t registered the original lease.
So I’d been in this property for 20 years with an unregistered lease. It took me ages to sell it but I did and made a profit.
Have you done alterations to your flat?
I had white built-in bookshelves and wardrobes made and fitted.
And I had spice shelves made specially in the kitchen because I do a lot of cooking and have loads of spices. I’m still developing it, really.
I’ve got a lot of blank walls and thinking what to do with them, what kind of art to put up.
I have great memories of being in the sea. I swim a lot and I’m looking for pictures of the sea or water –abstract art, photography, anything that catches my eye.
Have you gardened in previous homes?
In my father’s house in Birmingham there’s a massive garden where my mum, who has since passed away, used to do a lot of gardening.
I always used to help her. She loved planting rose bushes as well as herbs and spices.
And I liked doing that – planting mustard seeds, coriander seeds, that kind of thing. She also did potatoes and carrots, and had edible red berry bushes.
When I visit, my dad and I carry on what my mum did. She found gardening therapeutic, planted things all around the edges and would walk in the garden every day and sit there.
It has a very big lawn which the man next door cuts. Also a widower, he’s a gardener.
I found a lot of jokes and good material when I was gardening, sometimes learning parts of my show – more so than if I sat at my desk thinking about what to write.
What’s your favourite possession?
When I went to Mecca, I bought these miniature gold doors which are meant to be the doors of heaven.
How do you relax at home?
At sunset you get great views because I’m on the fourth floor. The sky turns red and orange.
I’ve got big south-facing bay windows so I switch the lights off, keep the blinds open, look out and see great views of London.
Where would you live if you had to move?
I’d like to maybe move to the countryside, somewhere like the Cotswolds.
Or since I go to the south of France a lot, I always think I’ll buy a place there because I love to hear the sound of the sea.
Have you done DIY?
I’ve done some but prefer other people to do it because they do it better.
What are your best and worst experiences with contractors?
Best: a guy came to my Muswell Hill house to do some grouting.
He did a good job of that then said, “Your garden needs doing. I’ll do it for you for no extra charge.”
So he did the brickwork then the garden. Then he plastered inside the house and painted the walls of a bedroom where there was damp.
He didn’t charge me for the gardening, just said, “Give me a good review.” And I did.
He’d done way more than I’d asked for, charged a fair price for a week’s work (about £1,500) then did lots of extra stuff.
Worst: six years ago I was in that house by myself and had this guy who was recommended by a friend. I needed a new toilet fitting and some tiles in the bathroom.
He was quiet but smelt of alcohol.
He did the job and was going to come back two days later to finish it. So I didn’t have a toilet for two days.
Then on the news I saw that he’d been arrested for a double murder – doing somebody’s house in Surrey, he’d got into an argument with the husband and wife.
Did your flat present any surprises?
When I moved in I turned on the kitchen tap and it splattered in my face.
The water was uncontrollable and I had to call the emergency people to come and stop it.
How have your previous homes compared with this one?
They’ve been a lot bigger but I find you don’t really need big places.
You just need enough, and I like it that way now.
I used to think if I had a big house it would be great, but actually it’s just a big house you fill with stuff.
You don’t use all the space. You always congregate in the kitchen or living room and you don’t really make use of all the rooms either.
I think generally in life you only need enough, really.
Does your home have a funny story?
All the doors in this block of flats are painted the same, and for the first two weeks I was always trying to get into the wrong flat.
I’d be putting my keys into the door and the man that lives there reported me. But it was always that I thought it was my flat.
I said, “I’m so sorry, I’m from the floor above”, and had to explain to the porter that I live here and I’m not trying to get into this man’s flat
I was always coming out of the lift and turning right and going to the first door, which I do on my floor but can’t tell the difference.
Shazia Mirza’s UK tour with Comedy Queens 2 will be June 21-26.
For tickets visit eventbrite.co.uk/o/twenty6-69492948153.
She also takes part in the next series of Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins in the New Zealand wilderness, which will air later this year.
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