Dinks – “double income no kids” households – are thriving. While the term dates back to 1987, first coined by the Los Angeles Times, it has recently reemerged on social media thanks to couples flaunting their child-free lifestyles.
Despite the upsides, including more disposable income and a full eight hours of sleep, even in 2024 many Dink couples are expected to justify their lifestyle in a way that parents are not. However, their numbers are growing as more and more couples contemplate the impact children will have on their careers, freedom and finances.
Earlier this year the birthrate in the UK fell to a record low, while the cost of raising a child from birth to the age of 18 has skyrocketed to £223,256, according to the latest research from investment platform Moneyfarm.
Being a Dink may be the golden ticket to financial stability and a comfortable retirement, even without a family to fall back on. Here, we meet three couples who choose to be Dinks to see how their decision changed their lives.
‘You don’t have a child just to look after you when you’re old’
Leona Black, 45, and Gordon Bazeley, 48, met in 2010 through a dating app. They have now been together 13 years and married for 10. For their honeymoon, they quit their jobs and went travelling for an entire year, visiting 25 countries. “That was great but unusual because most people our age were busy having children,” says Black. “We were out travelling and hanging out with 18-year-olds or retirees.”
When they first got together, children were still on the cards. Black was even thinking ahead about maternity leave and how to juggle it with being self-employed. However, they started doubting their decision on their honeymoon.
“We were sitting in Bolivia and we talked about it over a beer,” says Black. The conclusion they came to was that they were only about 20pc sure they wanted children. “When we sat down and looked at it properly, we realised that our life [is] very good as it is and didn’t need to change.”
Bazeley was also thinking about the numbers. “If you want to have kids, and if you want to think of putting them into private education, that costs a lot of money,” he explains. “We don’t necessarily want to be working solidly for the rest of our lives. If we have kids, we’re going to need to.”
Since making that decision, Black and Bazeley have been able to take their foot off the gas in terms of their careers and earning potential. Black works part-time as an educational psychologist on around £40,000 a year, and Bazeley as a product manager in the sustainability sector, making in the region of £28,000 a year working two and a half days a week.
They both opted to work part-time so that they can enjoy time travelling while they are young and healthy. Last June, they took an entire month off to travel Scotland in their campervan with their two pugs. “You can’t do that with children,” says Black.
Before changing to part-time, Bazeley was earning six figures a year in a full-time corporate role. “We were saving tons of money,” says Bazeley. “We don’t have a particularly lavish lifestyle apart from our holidays.”
As a result, they have built up quite a nest egg towards a comfortable retirement and any care they may need as they get older.
Black is an only child and doesn’t have any family besides Bazeley. “At some point it’s nerve-wracking to think that I’m going to not have anyone in my life. But the flip side is, you don’t have a child just to look after you when you’re old. That’s not fair.”
Black has experienced the death of both her parents and knows how hard that can be on an only child. “I didn’t want to put that on a child. We’ll have enough money to look after ourselves anyway,” she says. “But it won’t be a family member that looks after us, it’ll be someone paid.”
Another option is moving into one big house with their friends. “It’ll be like the Marigold Hotel,” adds Bazeley.
‘Having kids is something you should really want – we never felt that way’
Helene Sula and her husband Michael, both 37, are high school sweethearts. Originally from Dallas, Texas, they got married when they were both 24, and expected to follow the path of having children.
“I remember when we were in college, we’d write each other notes about having kids in our future,” says Helene. “But as we got older, we really changed our life plans.”
After an injury from a rock climbing fall left her housebound, Helene was inspired to start a blog about the couple’s previous travels around Europe. After she recovered, they moved to Heidelberg, Germany in 2016. Children never seemed to fit in the picture.
“I think in the best case scenario, having kids is something you should really want and you should really be looking forward to and excited about,” she says. “I don’t think either of us ever really felt that way.”
Moving to Oxford in 2023, the conversations about children grew less and less frequent.
Michael does worry about getting to his golden years and feeling like he missed out on children and grandchildren. “That won’t be there for us, so we will have to find other ways to find value in our lives and enjoyment,” he says.
However, they are not concerned that they won’t have children to take care of them. “We’ve both witnessed people who are older and, despite having kids, their kids are not necessarily there to take care of them.”
Instead, the couple are focused on saving for their future. Helene quit her job in 2015 to focus all her efforts on her travel blog and social media. When they made the decision to move abroad in 2016, Michael also quit his job and joined Helene working full-time on their business. “It was a risk,” says Helene. “But we do like to take risks.”
Since then, the business has grown and the risk has paid off. They now make over six figures a year. With the money they save from not having children, they are able to travel two to four times a month, and potentially in the future plan to own multiple homes in different countries.
“We’re very comfortable just the two of us,” says Michael. “Not having to provide for children, we’re able to save quite a bit. That’s what will be taking care of us in the future – the work that we’re putting in today.”
‘I know that if I had a child, I’d end up being resentful’
In her 20s, Claire Davis had always imagined having children. Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy at the age of 27, she had a stark wake-up call: “For some people, it’d make them want children even more. For me, it went the complete opposite way.”
After two previous marriages, Claire met her husband James, 51, through mutual friends in 2015. “I moved to Ibiza to be with him pretty quickly and we got married within a year.”
They had conversations about children early on and both agreed it wasn’t in their future. “I’m an entrepreneur, I want to be free,” says Claire, 45. “I know that if I had a child, I’d end up being resentful.”
While it wasn’t the reason for their decision, Claire had always thought about the cost of raising a child. “I’ve got more freedom financially now than I would have had if I’d have had a child,” says Claire. “I see my friends and how much they spend on their children and I say to James, ‘see, we made the right decision’.”
At the moment any money the couple saves is invested back into their business. “It’s our joint venture, it’s our joint baby,” says Claire. Having both previously worked in the corporate world, James set up a successful retreat business in Ibiza in 2012.
However, after the pandemic they lost the business and had to start over. Now, Claire and James run a six-figure coaching business and podcast called “The Midlife Mentors”, which brings in between £10,000 and £20,000 a month, while also running retreats twice a year.
Recently, they have been thinking about what’s next. “Instead of just investing in the business and growing it, we’ve been thinking about what kind of lifestyle we want to be leading in the next 10 to 15 years,” says Claire.
At the moment, they spend their time living between London and Ibiza. Claire also owns a property in Surrey, but has been considering whether to put their savings towards purchasing a second home. “We’ve got quite a big pot for a deposit,” she says. “But it’s quite funny – we don’t know where we want to live yet.”
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