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A bride has been defended after she asked her uncle to walk her down the aisle instead of her stepfather.
In recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, the mother of the bride shared that she welcomed her daughter, who she referred to as Sarah, when she was in college. She acknowledged that her late husband and daughter’s father unfortunately passed away “because of a heart complication,” which happened after Sarah’s second birthday.
After confessing that her late husband’s passing was a “very hard time” for her, she shared that four years later, she met her now second husband – who she referred to as Robert – on a blind date. She then explained the close relationship that he had with her daughter over the years.
“Even when we were dating, he was very hands on with my daughter, and it did not take too long for my daughter to call him ‘papa,’” the mother wrote. “Even until we got married and when I got pregnant two years into the marriage and gave birth to twins, he still acted like a father to Sarah.”
However, she explained that things changed when Sarah turned 18, noting that she started calling Robert by his first name, which both he and his wife were “taken aback” by. When the couple asked Sarah about the change of attitude, she described how she overheard Robert’s conversation about taking a father’s day trip to a hostel, owned by his friend.
“His friend asked him if he forgot to include Sarah, since my husband only asked him to prepare three bedrooms. My husband replied that he planned this trip for his real children only. It wouldn’t make sense if Sarah was on the trip since he wasn’t her real father,” the Reddit user continued. “This made Sarah feel betrayed and hurt because she saw him as her real dad even if she knew he was her stepdad.”
Sarah’s stepfather “tried to explain to her that though he loves her as a father, his love for the twins were different since they were his real children.” However, she then told him and her mother to leave the room. The mother explained that while Sarah now “acts like nothing happened,” she still calls her stepfather by his first name when she visits home.
She shared that as it’s been a few years since the incident, her daughter recently announced her engagement. Weeks before the wedding, the mother assumed Robert would be walking Sarach down the aisle, which ultimately wasn’t the case.
AITA For telling my husband he shouldn't be upset when my daughter said that her uncle would be the one to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day?
byu/beige_donut19 inAITAH
“My daughter scoffed at me when I told her about Robert walking her down the aisle. She said ‘I thought it was obvious that Uncle Greg (my late husband’s brother) would be the one to do that? Besides, I’m not his real daughter. It wouldn’t make sense if he walked me down the aisle,’” the mother explained.
The Reddit user noted that she then apologized to her daughter for her “ignorance,” before telling her husband the news, since he also assumed he’d walk Sarah down the aisle. However, when Robert learned what Sarah said, he was “pissed.”
“But I politely reminded him of the incident years ago which made him even more upset,” the mother added, referring to the conversation he had about Sarah being his stepdaughter. “He said that it was a long time ago and that Sarah should move on.”
The bride’s mother still came to Sarah’s defense, telling her husband that “he shouldn’t be upset since he doesn’t see her as his real child anyway,” which prompted him to get “teary-eyed and [tell her] to not speak to him.” Although he still attended the wedding, where he “looked visibly down,” the situation has affected his relationship with his wife.
“We still aren’t on good terms and have been pretending in front of relatives,” she concluded. “It’s been a week since my daughter’s wedding and Robert is still upset. He only talks to me about the twins and household stuff but beyond that, he keeps everything to himself.”
The post has quickly gone viral on Reddit, with more than 16,000 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people defended the bride’s decision to have her uncle walk her down the aisle, while criticizing Robert’s remarks about Sarah only being his stepdaughter.
“Robert brought this on himself. He acted as her father from the time she was two years old, so he is the only father she has ever been aware of. Yet he called her not his ‘real’ child and was careless and cruel enough to do so when she overheard him. Of course the consequence of that mean attitude is that she doesn’t consider him to be her dad. He created this situation,” one wrote. “Now he is continuing to be immature and cruel by punishing you for stating the reality of the situation.”
“She saw him as her real father but he didn’t see her as his real daughter. He can’t pick and choose when she’s his daughter and when she isn’t,” another agreed.
“Robert is learning - or perhaps more accurately - having the consequences forced upon him, that some bells cannot be unrung,” a third responded. “He can’t go back in time, and he doesn’t have wings. There is nothing he can do, and he just needs to accept that.”
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