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Louise Thomas
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A man has been defended after skipping his stepbrother’s wedding to “prioritize” his career.
In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, the man explained that during a conversation with his father, he revealed that he wouldn’t be able to attend his older stepbrother’s wedding. He explained that while he’s “transitioning out of the army,” he’s been offered an internship opportunity that aligns with his “career goals”.
After acknowledging that the gig is “especially crucial” for him, since it would lead to him being hired full-time, he explained that his training coincides with the date of his stepbrother’s wedding. While he tried to tell his father that he couldn’t skip the scheduled training for the wedding, the parent was still unhappy.
“When I explained this to my dad, he insisted that attending the wedding was non-negotiable, emphasizing the importance of family above all else. While I deeply respect his perspective, I noted that I live far from the rest of my family (15 hours) and lack a support system,” he wrote. “I need to secure a stable job and build a future for my wife and myself, particularly now that I am the sole earner.”
He also clarified the “legal obligations” of the internship, since it is his “place of duty” and his “attendance is mandatory according to military regulations”. Although the Reddit user’s father responded to this by encouraging his son to find a way to go to the wedding – such as through “requesting leave from [his] superiors” – his son didn’t want to do that.
“This may not be feasible due to the structured nature of the internship program. Unlike my siblings, I live independently and manage all my expenses, making decisions that significantly impact our future,” he explained.
While he tried to give his father the benefit of the doubt, the Reddit user went on to stress that he was still disappointed about him missing the wedding.
“I firmly believe that my dad would understand the importance of this opportunity if he knew the specifics. Unfortunately, my dad sees my absence as a failure to prioritize family over career ambitions,” he added.
He concluded by acknowledging that while his family is “very important” to him, he’s “the sole provider” of his household, and he “firmly believes” his “wife’s needs must take priority”.
“Securing a stable career and financial stability is crucial not only for my personal fulfillment but also for our shared future,” he wrote.
AITA for Prioritizing My Career Over Attending My Step-Brother's Wedding?
byu/Historical-Spot1526 inAmItheAsshole
In an edit to the post, he acknowledged that he spoke to his stepbrother about having to miss the wedding for work. According to the Reddit user, his stepbrother simply said: “If anything, you can cancel the internship.” The man explained that while he knows his stepsibling didn’t mean the remark “negatively”, it still showed “either the unwillingness or the incapability of [his] family to understand [his] priorities”.
The Reddit post has quickly gone viral, with more than 1,400 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people defended the man’s decision to skip the wedding, with the understanding that he has to abide by certain commitments for his career. They also criticized his father for getting upset at his child over the situation.
“This is an internship with mandatory attendance requirements. The fact that it also sets you and your family up for financial stability now and the future is the icing on the cake for you skipping the wedding,” one wrote. “I’m not sure why your father feels his other son is more important than you.”
“If I, as a grown man, had my father tell me something was ‘non-negotiable,’ it would be very hard not to laugh in his face,” another wrote.
“Prioritizing your career in this situation is prioritizing your family. This opportunity is critical to the success and stability of your family. While I admit it sucks to miss a wedding, especially if you want to go, this is a sacrifice for your future. I’m of the belief that once you get married or enter into a partnership, that is the family unit that takes priority first,” a third responded. “Your dad needs to understand that you are prioritizing your family, that dynamic has just changed and there is more than just his needs at stake.”
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