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Louise Thomas
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While sisters may be family, that won’t stop siblings from getting into arguments – whether large or small – from time to time.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, one woman explained that she always thought her and her sister were “close.” However, her younger sister was supposed to be her maid of honor at her wedding, and decided to not show up on the day of the ceremony.
“No call, no text, nothing. I was devastated, but I tried to focus on the day and not let it ruin things,” she wrote. “Later, she explained that she had a panic attack and couldn’t handle the pressure. I understood and tried to be supportive, but it still hurt that she didn’t even try to let me know.”
Now, her sister is pregnant and asked for help with planning her baby shower and financially contributing to the festivities.
“She’s in a tough spot, and I do feel bad for her, but I’m still hurt about the wedding. I told her that I’m not in a position to help her right now, and she got really upset, saying that I’m being selfish and holding a grudge,” the Reddit post continued.
The woman mentioned that her family is divided over the situation, with some people encouraging her to push the wedding debacle aside to help her sister. However, others believe it was only fair to not help with the baby shower.
After posting, many people in the comments section defended the woman’s refusal to help with her sister’s baby shower, adding that sisters should constantly be there for each other no matter what.
AITAH for refusing to help my sister after she didn't show up for my wedding?
byu/throwrasiste inAITAH
“It’s pretty entitled to think that just because you ask for help means it should definitely be forthcoming. You’ve told her you’re not in a position to do so, which should be a completely fine response,” one comment began. “Plus, if she needs help why aren’t the rest of your family providing it instead of hassling you to do it!”
“She let you down at the point when you needed it most and from what I’m reading didn’t even call to let you down personally. Unless she has done what she can to apologize and make amends, then I don’t blame you for not feeling ready to help her out. When someone hurts you that deep you need to address it rather than ignore it,” someone else said.
Another commenter agreed, writing: “MOH [maid of honor] not showing up at her sister’s wedding would be a nightmare. I can’t even imagine how upset you must have been, not knowing if something could have happened to her.”
“As for her asking for help.... This is a situation that she created with the help of her (at least momentary) partner. How is this your responsibility? If she can’t afford the baby, she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. As for the baby shower, why is she throwing one for herself, anyway?? That’s really tacky. Your response was appropriate and she should have accepted it without question. Her reaction speaks to her character.”
“Your family is not allowed to tell you how you should react. Actions have consequences and there’s no ‘timeline’ on forgiveness,” someone else pointed out. “She broke your trust and broke your heart. It’s your right to grieve that and establish new boundaries. This request is beyond your boundary due to HER actions. That’s not your fault. Do what YOU feel comfortable doing, especially with your hard earned money. No one tells me what to do with my money.”
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