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Louise Thomas
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People online defended one girlfriend after her boyfriend refused to buy her a lab-cut diamond engagement ring.
In a recent post on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole, a frustrated woman opened up about her predicament, admitting her proposal wishes haven’t lined up with her partner’s.
The Redditor admitted she and her boyfriend have been discussing their future engagement and getting married. With that, the conversation has focused a lot on her engagement ring. While she appreciates a traditional lab diamond, her boyfriend doesn’t believe the makeup of the ring matters.
“He doesn’t believe rings hold any value and thinks it’s silly to spend money on lab diamonds or gold,” she explained.
Still, her original wish was to receive a ring from a “reputable jeweler.” Of course, her boyfriend thought the prices of these rings were too high. She estimated the cost to be around $4,000 for the ones she was interested in.
The Reddit user said: “We went back and forth for a while and I looked into other options that were cheaper (~$2k) and he said he was still opposed to that much and had a budget of $600.
“This budget is artificially imposed because he doesn’t believe in rings rather than because he can’t afford it,” she added.
In addition to his distaste for the price of the diamond rings she wants, her boyfriend believes he should get a material gift of the same value.
She noted: “He was also against the principle that rings are a one way street where the man is required to buy something expensive and there’s no reciprocity which is fair.”
Their compromise was that she would get him a gift if she got a ring from him. When the Reddit user finally found a ring she liked, she asked her boyfriend if their compromise still worked for him. Unfortunately, it didn’t.
According to the Reddit writer, her boyfriend backed out, questioning why she needed a lab diamond again.
“Essentially (he) told me that he doesn’t understand why getting a diamond (lab) ring is so important to me and why I can’t just get a $100 moissanite ring that would look similar and that we can use the rest of the ring budget for something else,” she confessed.
At this point, the Redditor wants to buy herself the ring she wants so she doesn’t end up unhappy with a style her boyfriend settles on.
Wondering if she was being unreasonable, the writer asked readers for their opinion, and an overwhelming majority supported her.
One reader remarked: “I say this as a woman who doesn’t like jewelry. This is not about the ring. This is about him refusing to bend in the slightest over something that is important to you.”
“I agree with your bf but the ring itself isn’t your issue. You guys aren’t able to resolve this difference of opinion about something that clearly matters a lot to both of you,” another added.
A third noted: “The ring has no value to him, but it does to you. Because it is important to you, that should be important to him. When you become partners, each other’s wants and needs should be prioritized with the other.”
“You get to feel how you want to feel,” one person simply said.
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