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Louise Thomas

Editor

A man has sparked a debate after criticizing his girlfriend for the “lazy” gift she got him for his birthday.

In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, a 20-year-old asked if he was in the wrong because he wasn’t “thrilled” about the birthday gift from his girlfriend, who is also 20. While noting that the present was lingerie, he then recalled that she had the outfit on for his birthday.

“My girlfriend came over and said her present was a surprise. She went into another room and came out in a lingerie set that she said was new,” he wrote, before complimenting how she looked in the lingerie and noting that they then “fooled around”.

However, he explained that when he asked her what he thought of that present, he was “a bit confused”, since he didn’t initially realize that the lingerie was the only present.

“This rubbed me wrong, and it felt like a lazy excuse for a gift from someone I’ve been dating for a year. To me, it’s like she bought something for herself and said it was a gift to me,” he wrote, before confessing how he might have been in the wrong for telling her: “So, if we break up, do I get to keep that and give it to whoever I date next?”

According to the Reddit user, his comment “rubbed her the wrong way, and she called [him] an a**hole.” He then described another reason why he was upset about the gift, explaining that for his girlfriend’s birthday, he took her for “a fancy dinner” that cost more than $200. He also noted that the present was “no small cost for a 20-year-old college student without a job”.

The Reddit post has quickly gone viral, amassing more than 15,000 upvotes. There have been some mixed reactions in the comments, with some people understanding why he was upset about his girlfriend’s gift. However, they also claimed that the couple needed to communicate more about their interests during birthday celebrations.

AITA for not being thrilled about my girlfriend’s birthday gift to me? (Lingerie)
byu/ApprehensiveSlip8059 inAITAH

“From her perspective, she might see being wrapped up in nice lingerie as a thoughtful and intimate gift – and many people would agree. However, it’s clear that you have a different view, which is perfectly valid,” one wrote. “Having expectations is normal, but the key is to communicate them clearly. That’s the first step.”

“Effort goes a long way, and it seems your relationship might be disproportionately balanced. I bet she’d be pissed if your birthday gift to her was sex, but overall you two probably need to discuss expectations going forward,” another added.

While some people made jokes about the Reddit user keeping the lingerie for himself to wear, since it was a part of his present, others criticized him for comparing the gift to the fancy dinner he took his girlfriend to for her birthday.

“How is it less of a present than a dinner out? You buy a dinner that you both enjoy, she buys a lingerie set that you both then enjoy. Isn’t it kind of equivalent, a shared experience? Or is having sex with her not equivalent to dinner out with you? I’m confused,” one wrote.

“I really don’t see how your gift was any different to hers. Surely you guys eat together all the time? So going to a fancy restaurant is just upping the experience a few notches. She did the exact same thing for you with the lingerie. Nice lingerie can easily cost a few hundred, and she probably spent a lot of time getting ready and tried to make it a fun special experience,” another responded.

A third advised: “Keeping score is a sign of resentment, nothing kills a relationship like resentment/ Stonewalling/ defensiveness / criticism. Do what you want with that knowledge.”

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