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Louise Thomas
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A bride’s mother accused her of being “selfish” for donating her wedding flowers to a hospital instead of handing them out to her friends.
In a recent post on Reddit’s popular Am I The A**hole forum, the upset daughter questioned whether she was in the wrong for giving away $4,000-worth of floral arrangements to the medical center.
For context, the bride explained how she and her partner had financed their entire wedding independently, meaning her mother never financially contributed. That said, she did offer a “generous” sum of money, but the bride declined because she knew accepting it would mean her mother could have more of an input in the planning.
“Before the offer was returned, I had already promised my mom space to invite her own friends, so roughly 5% of my guest list is actually just my mom’s friends,” the Redditor admitted. “My mom told me that she’s enlisting some of these friends to help with some logistics - transferring decor after the ceremony, setting up displays, etc.”
The bride said she was pleased that her mother’s friends wanted to help; however, their assistance allegedly came at a price.
According to the Reddit user, her mother had promised her friends they could take home the centerpieces but the bride had already made other arrangements for those flowers after the wedding.
“I had to stop her to let her know that I have plans for my florals - that one of my friends works at a Children’s Hospital and they may accept them as a charitable contribution (tax deduction, but also such a cool idea),” the bride noted. This apparently made her mother furious.
The Redditor’s mother “blew up” at her, arguing her friends deserved the flowers for offering to help with the preparation of her big day.
The post’s author said: “It’s the principle. I spent over $4k on this floral. I don’t like the idea of someone else promising my stuff to people who offered their help to me as a favor. At least ask me rather than tell me!”
Because she “stood her ground,” the bride’s mother told her she was “selfish” and “ungrateful.”
“I’m sure I’ll give in, but I just needed time to reign in a little control for just a moment,” the Redditor added.
Responding to the post, many commenters said they didn’t think the bride should give in and labeled her mother as the “bad guy” in the situation.
“So I think your mom is absolutely in the wrong for making this decision without speaking to you and I too would be uncomfortable with someone else promising away your stuff,” one reader commented.
“No, they’re not entitled to it and your mom doesn’t get to dictate what you do with flowers you paid for,” another agreed before adding: “But decide whether you want to die on this hill.”
A third wrote: “First, your mom has no business deciding what you will do with your centrepieces after the wedding. It was your mom who volunteered her friends help, so she should do something as a gesture of thanks for them if she feels it necessary.”
However, some users were less sympathetic: “As someone that has worked in a hospital and works with kids - wedding florals aren’t a very considerate donation for a Children’s hospital.
“It’s in pretty poor taste to try to write off wedding expenses on your taxes by taking advantage of a charity like that,” they concluded.
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