A woman has reposted a video of herself finishing a memorial pathway for her partner, who died by suicide.
The harrowing TikTok footage shows Sachia Tasz, 43, adding the last of 1,368 rocks to create a pathway so her ex-partner, Ken Legacy, "will never walk alone."
In an exclusive interview with Newsweek, Tasz, who lives in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada, spoke about Ken, who was 45 when he died on September 23, 2020.
She said: "The path was designed as Ken's last walk and laced with rocks and mulch. There were spraypainted recycled tires filled with flowers and signs of hope mounted on the trees with words of hope to anyone who was struggling."
The text layered over the video reads: "It took 1,368 rocks to create my boyfriend's final walk to where he died by suicide. This was the last rock. Each one was heavier [and] more emotional the further I got, but he will never walk alone."
In the United States, someone dies by suicide every 11 minutes, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Each September, the country observes Suicide Awareness Month.
"The last four years have been a roller coaster of emotions," she said, adding, "I was almost another statistic."
With the help of psychotherapy, she has learned how to love her life again. Now, she uses her platform @juststay4anotherday to raise awareness of suicide and share Ken's story.
She told Newsweek: "There were two sides to Ken. There was the beautiful side, that I loved so deeply and the mental-health side, that was like a dark cloud.
"Ken loved to laugh and he had the best sense of humor. Although he had a tough exterior, once you got to know him, he was the kindest, gentlest and empathetic person [you] would ever meet."
In 2020, she explained that he struggled to take his medication.
"He often would stop cold turkey, and the side effects would be detrimental. He would be isolated, have mood swings, paranoia, not sleep, be irritable, and be impulsive, to name a few," she said.
In another video posted in 2021, Tasz told her followers what happened on the day he passed away. She said he made her a pot of coffee and had plans to do some "stuff around the house," however four hours after she left for work, he was gone.
"It took me a year to create the path. I wanted to have it finished by his angelversary date on Sept 23rd, 2021, and I accomplished that," she told Newsweek.
Now, four years on, Tasz regularly uses her platform to help others, she said: "I found a calling in advocating in mental health and will continue to advocate as long as I can. TikTok has given me the opportunity to reach a great number of people to help make a difference."
Navigating the Grief of Losing a Partner to Suicide
Mental-health expert Noel McDermott, based in London, has shared some effective coping strategies for someone who has lost a partner to suicide.
He told Newsweek: "Loss from suicide is often complicated by the social stigma attached to the manner of the death. Although we have made great strides in showing insight and compassion, there are still complications attached around feelings of guilt and shame.
"So, a very helpful coping strategy is to join a support groups of other people bereaved by suicide. In particular, it is helpful to do this because services such as the police and coroner's court who usually become involved can be challenging to deal with.
"There may also be cultural and religious stigma attached to the death that is challenging to deal with. Having the support of peers who have been through this can be literally transformative.
"All loss, though, has [a] similar process and losing a loved one in emotionally violent ways can complicate the usual grieving process. We all grieve differently, but as social animals, being able to share our grief with others in socially accepted rituals can be tremendously helpful.
"These can be well-known ones such as a funeral service or more specific to yourself such as inviting friends to visit a special place and celebrate the lost loved one's life with song, poetry etc.
"Grief is exhausting, traumatic and physically painful, so be aware to slow down and have compassion for yourself."
McDermott advises people to give themselves permission to "hurt and be vulnerable," adding that it is OK to sleep, practice self-care and take time.
He has shared the following tips for people who are sadly dealing with the loss of a loved one:
- Focus on the core healthy life habits.
- Try to sleep and rest.
- Find time to relax and nap.
- Eat regularly and eat nutritiously.
- Don't dive into drinking.
- Keep some activity in your day (a walk in the park etc).
- Increase your social contact if possible.
"In some cases, this may well become complex grief; see your doctor sooner rather than later and look at counseling and medication, or self-refer into a bereavement support organization," he told Newsweek.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "988" to the Crisis Text Line at 741 741 or go to 988lifeline.org.
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