Is failure the key to success?
Over the past 30 years, perfectionism has been increasing in the U.S. and U.K., with negative consequences for the nations' mental health. But beyond heightening anxiety and burnout, perfectionism can get in the way of us realizing our full potential.
"We tend to avoid failure and rejection because of the negative emotions associated with them," Michele Veldsman, director of neuroscience at Cambridge Cognition, told Newsweek. "Because we've always experienced failure as a negative thing, we try to avoid it—procrastinating an application, talking ourselves out of pursuing something because of the uncertainty and potential for failure."
However, seven years ago, Veldsman—who holds a Ph.D. in neuroscience from the University of Cambridge and spent six years as a research associate at the University of Oxford—came across a technique that totally transformed her mindset.
"Back in 2017, I came across a Twitter post about an author who would try to aim for 100 rejections a year," Veldsman said. "In academia, you face constant rejection, whether from paper submissions to scientific journals, applying for research funding, Ph.D. positions, jobs or awards. It's hard not to get disheartened by the sheer number of times you are criticized, rejected or feel like a failure.
"I realized that these rejections are inevitable, so I could either take it personally and lose motivation or I could reframe it and use it to keep pushing forward," she said.
Therefore, Veldsman began to "count" her failures. "When we collect rejections, we are reframing failure or rejection as a positive thing," she said. "The act of applying is the achievement, the added rejection is rewarding in your goal to collect as many as you can. This makes us less likely to avoid the rejection and its negative emotional consequences and seek the reward instead."
Reframing what it means to "fail" comes with a plethora of benefits, Veldsman said.
"The largest success is definitely the shift in mindset. I no longer take negative feedback personally. I don't dwell on failures, I collect them, and I apply for things I would have ordinarily dismissed. On at least three occasions, I've been offered leadership positions I would never have applied for, and those positions have led to even more opportunities, creating a bit of a domino effect."
Counting failures can also help overcome perfectionism's pesky partner: procrastination.
"The most liberating thing is not letting fear of failure hold me back," Veldsman said. "It also prevents perfectionism from being used as an excuse—I no longer agonize over small details that end up delaying or preventing me from progressing. I also learn a lot from rejections, so that each new paper, grant or application improves with the practice of submitting.
"Another important aspect is that you realize how many opportunities there are, so each rejection feels smaller."
Veldsman said that this mindset shift does not happen overnight. "As with anything, it gets so much easier with practice, and the effects spill over into many other areas of your life," she said. "You no longer fear the cold emails: You apply to that position or promotion without pinning your self-esteem to it."
Not every failure is equal either. "You won't benefit if you just start to count random rejections," Veldsman said. "Your submissions, whether it's a job application or a new voluntary position, should always be intentional. The last thing you want is to be accepted to things you don't actually want to do or to waste your time applying for irrelevant things."
She continued: "It is also worth noting that many people may face constant rejection, not for a lack of willingness to submit but of systemic barriers or biases against them. I have personally faced these, so I understand that this presents a unique challenge, as rejection in this case might be disproportionate to what is actually attempted."
Veldsman's original video can be watched on her TikTok channel, @buildyourvillage.
Do you have a tip on a science story that Newsweek should be covering? Let us know via science@newsweek.com.
Disclaimer: The copyright of this article belongs to the original author. Reposting this article is solely for the purpose of information dissemination and does not constitute any investment advice. If there is any infringement, please contact us immediately. We will make corrections or deletions as necessary. Thank you.
