A woman has urged singletons not to sleep on the "three-month rule" and to reconsider situationships.
It is probably an understatement to say modern-day dating is complicated. Unofficial courtships can lead people into situations where they're unsure of whether the romance will progress.
On TikTok, Charlie Backshall (@charliebackshall) has advised individuals to stop wasting time pursuing nonreciprocal romances by sticking to an expiry date.
In a video posted on May 26, the 22-year-old model from Western Australia said, "Do not sleep on the three-month rule when it comes to relationships. If nothing has happened by three months, it's probably never going to happen." The clip has received 151,000 views and 11,200 likes.
Backshall told Newsweek: "I have had my fair share of situationships and heard every excuse in the book as to why they won't commit.
"When you have feelings for someone, it's so much easier to accept the excuse, when more often than not, the root of such is that you are not the one for them.
"This can make it hard to trust your gut. Three months is the average amount of time it takes for a person to realize whether or not what you have is relationship material.
"Keeping it in mind stops you from wasting your time and being taken advantage of when you have the rose-colored glasses on."
The model said someone interested in another person would show their interest early on. She added that many singles were being persuaded to provide the "girlfriend/boyfriend package" without the price of commitment.
Verywell Mind, a mental health and wellness platform, defines "situationship" as a romantic relationship that lacks clarity or labels. Backshall has a problem with the term, which she sees as validating noncommittal partners.
She said: "The term 'situationship' has been coined to give us a sense of control and tangibility to what would otherwise be nothing.
"We give ourselves this label rather than accept that we are ultimately 'wasting' our time and energy on someone who isn't doing the same for us.
"It is more common than not that while one person views themselves 'in a situationship,' the other merely considers themselves single. The term has overcomplicated what is actually happening: You like them more than they like you."
The model also said she believed people got invested in relationships too early, and that things should not be complicated early on in a romantic connection.
This ease should be applied to ending connections in the early stages.
"It's not that deep," she said. "You simply aren't on the same page, and that's OK. It's as easy as saying, 'Hey, I've really enjoyed getting to know you, but I am looking for something long term, and I can see that this is not going in that direction, so it's best we leave things here.'
"I'm not saying it won't be disappointing and that you won't feel sad, but sometimes you need to let go of someone you love to find the one who loves you."
Dating expert Emma Hathorn from the dating site Seeking agreed that three months is a good time frame to assess where things are going.
She advised partners to check in after the "probationary period," as it should be clear at this point whether the connection will progress or remain a situationship.
Hathorn said: "The three-month dating rule is useful for clearheaded decision-making after the initial thrill has worn off. You're seeing their lifestyle in close-up and discovering if you fit into it—and vice versa.
"If they continue to impress you, if you continue to admire them, then you're probably in a good place to decide if you want to continue moving forward."
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