A marriage and family therapist has gained significant online attention by sharing his unconventional dating advice.
Known on social media as @therapyjeff, Jeff Guenther boasts 2.8 million followers and has recently gone viral on TikTok and racked up over 118,000 views. Guenther spoke with Newsweek about his "unpopular" dating advice.
The 43-year-old in Portland, Oregon, advocates for a more traditional approach to dating, arguing against the reliance on dating apps.
The author of Big Dating Energy: How to Create Lasting Love by Tapping Into Your Authentic Self shared his three "unpopular dating opinions" and received over 11,000 likes.
1. Dating is a Numbers Game
Guenther suggests that people should go on as many dates as possible to truly understand who they connect with best. "I get that you need to choose wisely and not make it a free-for-all all, but I think you should go on as many dates as mentally and emotionally possible," he says.
He believes that this approach helps people better understand who they "vibe with."
Guenther told Newsweek: "Meeting in person lets you experience their energy and personality fully. Apps don't give you a real vibe.
"Physical attraction and chemistry are instantly felt in real life. You can't trust all those perfect selfie angles on dating profiles.
"Meeting people in real life makes much better stories of how you first connected."
Research has revealed that finding "the one" is more common than you may think, according to the Knot 2023 Jewelry and Engagement Study. The survey of over 9,000 U.S. married couples found that one in four couples now get married after meeting online. Other popular ways of meeting someone involve mutual friends, at school, work or in a social setting.
2. Meet People in Real Life
Guenther emphasizes the importance of face-to-face interactions over virtual connections made through dating apps. He begins the second point by saying, "You need to get off the apps and start picking up people in real life."
He highlighted the instant chemistry and physical attraction that can only be felt in person, as well as the authentic stories that come from such meetings.
3. Dating is the Best
Despite the common complaints about the discomforts of dating, Guenther believes there is a better, more enjoyable way to approach it. "People are doing it all wrong," he said. "There's a better way to date, a way that is actually fun because you don't waste time spiraling over stuff that doesn't matter."
He advocates for abandoning apps and engaging in direct interactions instead. According to Guenther, this method provides immediate feedback through body language and personal energy, which are crucial for developing genuine connections.
TikTok Reacts
Guenther's popularity continues to grow as his straightforward and sometimes controversial opinions resonate with a large audience seeking more authentic dating experiences. His advice challenges the modern reliance on technology for forming relationships, urging people to rediscover the value of real-life interactions. However, not all users are convinced.
One comment said: "I think in the modern day and age, you cannot live by rule #1 and rule #2 at the same time. By not being on the apps, you're automatically not opening yourself up to all possible options."
"How can you meet people in real life? Like I work from home and there's no people out hahaha like I never see someone irl that I like like idk maybe once in a blue moon I hate the apps but it's what it is," said another.
On the other hand, some users couldn't agree more.
"Thank you. About [in real life]- absolutely. Like picking daisies in a field. It's just a date, you're not marrying the guy," said a third commenter.
A fourth said: "Yes! Been done with apps for years. It's like dumpster diving."
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