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One man has been considering breaking up with his fiancée after he discovered what trait of his she considers an ick.
In a since-deleted Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, the man explained that he dated his current fiancée for years and there was a time when he was going through a rough period of time at work. “Looking back, I think I was just overreacting, but during that phase, I just don’t know what was happening to me mentally,” he wrote in the post.
During this time, he ended up crying for “no reason.” “My fiancée was surprised, but she comforted me, and she asked me what it was about, and I told her it was life in general,” he wrote.
Shortly after he was promoted at work and began to feel better. He then ended up overhearing something she said about him from his sister. His sister and fiancée have a mutual friend named Ellie.
“Last week, my sister called me and told me something she’d heard from Ellie which she wanted to share with me,” he wrote, noting that Ellie and his fiancée were running through positive traits their significant others had and what they could improve on.
“My fiancée had joked about me crying last year and that she found that an ick. Ellie found that very funny and then shared it with my sister,” the post continued.
An ‘ick’ is a slang term for a trivial trait that turns someone off a person.
“My sister told me she didn’t think it was funny at all, but just carried on with the conversation and pretended everything was normal, but she wanted to share this with me.”
The man ended up confronting his fiancée about it, but she replied that she was only joking. However, his response was that he needed space, which resulted in his fiancée crying and expressing that she loved how he felt comfortable expressing his emotions.
“The thing is, I don’t really believe my fiancée, and I feel really sad and hurt that she found my crying an ‘ick’ and that she joked about it with her friend,” the post ended.
After posting, many people took to the comments section to explain that he should listen to his gut about whether or not it is possibly worth breaking up with her.
“So, this potential wife is someone that you will lean heavily on as a spouse,” one comment began. “Marriage is not a Disney movie; you need to know this woman will have your back if you lose your job, if you have a terrible accident, if you have children that are non-typical physically or mentally, if you basically don’t have sunshine and rainbows every day.
“I like the other response where someone said to make her red-green flag list. Have you two really been through challenges together, or has she only been with you through smooth sailing? It’s how you face challenges together that determine your success, and you need to know you can trust her. NTA because your gut is telling you something important.”
Another commenter agreed, writing, “You aren’t wanting to break up just because she said she had the ick. You are considering breaking up because she proved that it’s not safe to be vulnerable around her. A normal reaction to a partner crying over stress is to be supportive and concerned, not get an ick. I’m not sure how you would feel going forward, if you feel like you can’t express your emotions around her.”
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