A man whose boyfriend passed on ownership of his home to him before he died has been praised for refusing to hand the property over to his late partner's estranged family.
Writing in a post shared to Reddit under the handle u/DearFerret9268, the 33-year-old man described how, following his boyfriend's death, the man's family "appeared in the picture" to tell him the property was "legally theirs."
However as the house was now in his name and "legally" his, that would not be happening. The reasons went far beyond personal finance though.
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The man wrote: "His parents kicked him out when he came out as gay at 17, my family took him in." That kind of rejection during adolescence can have a hugely negative impact.
A 2009 study published in the journal Pediatrics found that lesbian, gay, and bisexual young adults experiencing higher levels of family rejection during adolescence were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide and 5.9 times more likely to suffer depression.
Having spent a decade saving up to purchase a house, the man thought little of signing it over after being diagnosed with terminal cancer, meaning he could no longer work.
Though the man's family claimed they "regretted not being in his son's life" when he was alive, their next communication with their son's surviving boyfriend was to ask "when they can expect" the keys to the house, since their son was not married.
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Even when the man explained that the house had been signed over to him they accused him of being "unreasonable." What made the situation all the more upsetting was that, according to the man his late boyfriend had bought the property with a view to moving his family in once they made amends. Now that he was dead, they appeared eager to make the only person he could truly call family move out to make way.
Though the man said he would be willing to sell them the house, the family branded his suggestion "selfish" and claimed they would be waking him to court. Though some friends believe he should give them the house and "move on" with his life, he's not so convinced.
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His decision to stand firm is one endorsed by Alexandra Cromer, a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in stress, grief, and relationship conflict with Thriveworks, a nationwide mental health company offering therapy services in-person and online.
"The man is keeping the house for himself not out of vindictiveness but out of respect for his and his partner's relationship and his own financial well-being," Cromer told Newsweek. "He gave his partner's parents a chance to 'buy him out' of the house and give him a chance to get his money back and relocate elsewhere, but they chose not to."
Cromer felt the family should ultimately take "more accountability for their own actions" when it came to their son.
"It does appear that the family is trying to act as if the narrative of the relationship with their deceased son was loving and connected when it seems like they had a long-standing disconnected and difficult relationship with him where they did not practice acceptance," she said.
"Healthy relationships are a balance of reciprocity and compromise; you can't expect to get what you want out of a relationship unless you put in that same amount of energy or respect."
Cromer felt the man was entitled to the property because he "maintained that balance of reciprocity and compromise within his relationship with his partner."
Those commenting on Reddit felt he was more than justified in saying no.
As one user put it: "They refused to have anything to do with him, even when he was dying. If you give them the house now, then they benefit from him even though they rejected him when alive."
Another agreed, writing: "He wanted you to have a stable place to live. While he was alive, he wanted to give anything to have a relationship with them--but that was never tested as they did not want a relationship with him."
A third meanwhile added: "Giving them the house won't fix the relationship between your partner and his parents. He's not around for them to fix anything."
Newsweek reached out to u/DearFerret9268 but could not verify the details of the case.
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